During the summer last year while I was off of work, after having surgery, I had many days alone to ponder the things in my life and there are a few things I discovered during that time, one was that I truly do love photography and really like to share it with others, in fact it has been a not so secret desire of mine to have a photo of mine someday acknowledged; you know win a contest, have someone want to buy it or for someone who is a professional photographer to say I do good work, but alas this is a different story. The other thing I admitted was that I was plain old tired of being tired, not healthy and not able to do what life requires simply because it had become increasingly more difficult to move. My prayer is and continues to be that God would use me for His glory to touch peoples' lives and just simply to be able to do what He asks of me, although many times I find myself not really knowing what that is except to be obedient and faithful, the other part of that prayer is that I do not get in the way.
My weight has always been a struggle for me and at that point in my life I was probably close to being the heaviest I have ever been, I don't like myself when I am like that, you know not wanting to do anything because its all an effort, and it only adds to the depression I struggle with.
Awhile ago I promised myself no more diets, I know what I have to do, eat less and move more - but its hard to be motivated.... so a couple of months pass and my friend who also is my boss asks me to join her as she completes her journey of weight loss and we could encourage one another along the way. I couldn't refuse, I am always up for helping someone else just find it hard to be motivated just for me - I'm working on that.
So... in October 2009 we started our journey together on Weight Watchers. I have done WW many times over the years since I was 11 years old, it is a good program but like any 'program' you have to be ready to commit to it. I guess I was ready because here it is April and I have lost a total of 41 pounds - that makes me excited! Today I am the lightest I have been since I got married almost 10 years ago. I think in my plight of losing and gaining and losing again, by the way really unhealthy - I have learned a few things about what I should and should not eat; it is somehow a little easier this time around and my attitude is a little different. Oh I still eat for the wrong reasons at times, you know when your bored or emotional, but I recognize that, don't beat myself up about it and try to replace it with a better behaviour AND sometimes I just give myself permission, this is the rest of my life and if I want to eat birthday cake I am going to. I love food, I love to cook and I love to bless others with my cooking how can I simply cut out of my life a part of me - I can't. The other part of the equation is to 'move more', that's the part I struggle with the most especially when it rains, don't like the gym much, I own exercise equipment but don't feel like working out after I have come home from work, made supper and ... oh there are many excuses I could make the key is to stop making excuses and just do it. And when I fail I remind myself tomorrow is a new day, don't let it get out of hand, keep short account and don't be discouraged.. its a journey afterall.
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